Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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