I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
