I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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