Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
