This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
