I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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