dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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