look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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