Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
