do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
