And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
