Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
