I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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