gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just cut my nipple shaving
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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