i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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