Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The best revenge is premature balding
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
