Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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