He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
this will be a night to untag.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I party with great urgency now.
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