He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is Oprah even human
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
