Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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