It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
