if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
