You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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