i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
