Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm passing your future prison.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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