He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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