When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
