Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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