It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
