There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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