what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Semen is not good for contacts.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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