If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
