yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
