it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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