Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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