I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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