***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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