Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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