Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
