Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
