how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
