Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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