Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
