I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
