things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
