I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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