Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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