I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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