don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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