I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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