No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
