remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Bring me that man meat
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